Daniel is 13
Uri, your uncle from Tel Aviv
I remember when your mom brought you over to Israel, from grandpa & grandma's house in Nesher. White baby, almost transparent, with clear blue eyes and red hair. You ate all kinds of fruit and vegetable puree out of tiny Gerber bottles, looking confused but content. In no time, you entered your "cutest period", on which you became the all-star grandchild and the first-ever nephew of our nuclear family. You were cute in ways unimaginable today. Even today, you are still cute. But not as you used to be then.
All of this was a long time ago, although sometimes it seems as though only a year or two have passed by.
Today we're not dealing with your childhood anymore, but with puberty. And on this page I must inform you what everybody has been trying to conceal from you: thirteen isn't about responsibility, maturity or "the burden of Mitzvahs" and all that jazz. We're talking about something else here.
Daniel, you are entering the period of sex in your life. You are still unaware of this, and many will deny it (especially you, at least for now), but it's closing in fast, and nobody's gonna stop it anyhow.
Everything you thought about yourself is changing gradually.
You're going to find out that your body has thoughts of its own, and that you don't possess too much control over what's happening around you. Suddenly, some things which you thought are capable of only one thing - it turns out that can perform more kinds of actions (quite astonishing, ones, really). Students around you are going to deal with new things, and embark on adventures that are not related to the ministry of education's tests. Those things are more related to the tests of their own brain, their hormones and their fun.
There is no reason why you should take it easy. On the contrary: you are more than welcome to think aloud, get mixed up and shocked once in a while. You are also allowed to be left alone, or talk for hours on the phone with your friends. You might feel that adults are incapable of understanding you anymore (which is partly true). This story of puberty and sexuality is not easy for anybody. Secret information is coming out in the open, the easy way or the hard way. In short, it's going to be very interesting.
You can certainly go through all this at home, near the computer. You can pretend it's not happening, and close yourself in a private world. It's possible, but not always worthwhile. One thing's for sure: it pays to ask troubling questions, even if it looks scary, embarrassing or even dangerous. You know how to ask questions, and you are capable of understanding the answers.
So no Mitzvhas or Shmitzvhas, no Bet-Knesset and no Torah, no Bagrut and no religious authority is relevant here. You have only just begun this journey, and I'm willing to help. Just don't be shy: "The shy one does not learn" (Talmud Torah rules, Chapter Four).
Love you a lot - Uri, your uncle from Tel Aviv.
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